dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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