until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
