Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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