Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize