Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
vagina is talking i cant
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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