Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
