Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
dude. I can hear the air.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
