Pappa wants mamma naked
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
