Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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