I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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