i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
