Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize