I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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