4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
