your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
