His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize