im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
