Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
