But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
