This is not my ceiling
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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