dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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