I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
