I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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