Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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