it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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