Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I believe in your delicious
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
