Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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