It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You were trust falling into bushes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
