if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize