He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
