We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude i'm inner monologue high
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just high enough for therapy.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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