i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
