i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
