he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
