Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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