omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He? As in you personified your dick?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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