i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
