THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize