Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
