life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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