you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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