I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
