he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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