your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
