Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
