the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
