Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
