im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
