His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there was a trapeze. enough said
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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