Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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