Your face is a jimmy john
I hate all girls vehemently.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
