You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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