Don't you send me to vm
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My dick has a subreddit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
