I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
