We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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