WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
