you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she smelled like a LAN party
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We need to get me chipped asap
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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